Why we chose to keep Little Faith - an FAQ

 This is a very common question. 

The choice of abortion is obvious for most people, even for myself - before I had little Faith.

When I was working in IMH and nursing homes, I met a few residents who had down syndrome. And I saw suffering. They didn't have any loved ones - either they were 'abandoned', or their parents had passed on.

I loved my time taking care of these residents - because I see that they were the most marginalized and in need of care in this modern society, and it was humbling to be blessed with the opportunity to care for them. It was what I came to nursing for. 

But because of the suffering and loneliness I saw, I told my young self back then, that if my own should ever be abnormal, I would likely choose abortion, - not only because it is suffering for me, for his/her sibling, for his/her grandparents, but more importantly - it is suffering to live for the beloved child.

 

When I was in the car, on my way to the gynae, before I was told about the outcome of the NT scan, I had suspected something was wrong - based on the radiologists' response and reaction. She was awfully quiet during the scan, and told me later on that she had arranged for my gynae to speak to me asap.

In that moment, I prayed, and asked God - what would He want me to do if baby really was abnormal. And the answer was clear - God wanted me to keep the baby. I knew it so clearly in my heart. To David, it was also obvious to keep the baby whatever the outcome.  

It was very difficult times. I've had many well-meaning family members, friends, even doctors, who urged me to strongly consider abortion if the diagnosis were to be unfavorable. 

After the diagnosis of down syndrome and HLHS were confirmed, we were clear about one fact. We do not want Little Faith to suffer. 

Abortion is a very cruel process for the little one - because by now, all her nerves would have been formed and she would be in much pain, should we forcefully take life away from her.

While she is well and prancing around happily in my tummy now, she may not survive past a day or two once she is born. 

HLHS is a fatal heart condition, requiring multiple surgeries to sustain life, and eventually require a heart transplant. Most HLHS babies do not survive beyond 5 years even after surgery. Thus, we have made the decision for comfort care - meaning not for surgery, with a focus on ensuring her comfort and quality of life until her last breath. 

Lastly, we believe that life and death comes from God alone. We were in no place to make the decision to end this precious little life.